An American in Britain

OK, it’s the first day in a week that we’ve had a little time to spend on the computer.  I have not been blogging much, nor visiting my web friends, including my old friend Peggy (all the way back to college/university), who has just started her own blog.

Now that the kids are nearing the end of their school term, we are more serious about finding jobs.  We have been living off savings (terrible situation) and the situation has become dire.  We had looked into jobs previously but there have been little available in the area.  We are considering moving, but this was difficult with the kids in school and the tenancy agreement.  But the situation is about to change.

It did not help that my mother-in-law fractured her wrist and hip last week.  We have been up and down to London to visit her and to help with errands for my father-in-law.  She was extremely independent before and there has been such a change in routine for the both of them.  He has learned to be a little more independent and tending to regular household duties.  We’re considering going up to give the dog a long walk again.  She has to learn to take things easier and only push herself gently.  She has had to have a blood transfusion, and yesterday, we found out that the surgical site was leaking.  It could help explain why she is so volume depleted and her blood pressure keeps dropping when she gets up, not to mention that her appetite was down for a while.  She is progressing well with therapy, despite the bad wrist.

Unfortunately, her bedroom is on the second floor (third floor for us Americans) and she is not allowed to climb stairs yet.  When they decide to discharge her, we’ll have to make arrangements to move a bed down to the kitchen.  Having never been in such a position before, we are starting to appreciate what many other families have to deal with when an elderly parent or grandparent becomes temporarily disabled.

We had thought that the kids could spend a week with Nanny and Granddad over the summer break while we attack the job market, but that idea is now nixed.  Unless they can be of help and not just sit in front of the TV, waiting to be served, we cannot impose on my in-laws in such a way.

I finally went down to the DVLA in Brighton to start the process for my driver’s license.  I’m not expecting anyone to need it for at least the three weeks that my passport will be gone, but you never know.  Perhaps, I’m courting disaster, but if the disaster is that someone needs to see my passport to complete the hiring process, then it’s the kind of disaster that I would welcome at this point.

Again, apologies to my blogger friends.  I can only promise that I’ll look in now and then for the moment.

Sunday on the farm was sheep-shearing day.  It was rather comical.  Forget what you might have seen at agricultural shows and demonstrations.  This was the actual daily grind sheep-shearing.

Not all the sheep were shorn that day, but those destined for a haircut were rounded up into a pen.  The farmer drags one by the chest, protesting with a “Baa!” while her colleagues return in kind, front legs up in the air, hind legs dragging on the ground (kind of reminds me of me pulling the older kid when she refuses to be moved).  The razors go on – ziiiiiiiiiip! ziiiiiiiiiiiiiip! ziiiiiiiiiiiip!  All done in a few seconds, before she can let out another “Baa!”.  The farmer’s son balls up the wool and throws it into the pile with the rest.  From far away, I initially thought he had lifted up the shorn sheep and tossed it over the fence (an amazing feat for such a small one) until I later saw him handle a ball of wool.

Without their wool, these ewes look like little goats.  They also appear somewhat scrawny, but maybe that’s because I’m seeing lines where the razors had left some wool behind and it looks like ribs sticking out.

All right, this has very little to do with Britain itself, but it’s too sweet a story not to tell.

Our little Buppa, has been quite attached to her little Pooh Bear.  It’s a small teddy with beanie stuffing.  I can’t even remember who gave it to her.  Actually, I believe it may have been given to her older sister, but it has been her favourite for a long time.  What’s funny is that we never really attached any significance to her singling this teddy out.  Recently, she showed us a picture when she was in pre-school and they were allowed to bring in a teddy and it was this teddy.  She favoured it without showing too much favouritism.  However, near the end of the time we were in the States, she did use to bring it with her to the gym and all.  But, it was nothing like it has been since then.

When we came to the UK, Pooh was one of a select few that travelled with her, rather than being shipped over.  Since then, he has not left her side.  She sleeps with him, takes him everywhere, even to school.  She clung to  him the first day and they allowed her to bring him in, but leaving him in her school bag.  She was allowed to take him out for playtime, where some of the other kids occasionally abused him.  This upsets her sometimes.  But she continued to take him.

But, yesterday, she decided to keep him behind.  I asked if she wanted me to put him in the bag and she said ‘no’.  She were confused about that and wondered if a friend said or did something at school.  This morning, she bade him a long good-bye, and my husband asked why she wasn’t taking him.  She answered, “Because there might be a fire at school”.  Then we remembered that they had a fire drill in school two days ago.

We wondered what must have been going through her head when the drill went off and the teachers told them to file out, leaving all their belongings behind.  She must have been devastated to realise that in the event of a real fire, she would have to leave her beloved Pooh behind.  So, she has made the decision to leave him at home, where he would be safe.  We couldn’t possibly tell her that a fire could start just about anywhere.  I wonder what she’ll be like if and when she becomes a real mother (many, many, many years in the future, I hope).

I’ve already mentioned the helpful motorists in times of need. Now, I’m moving on to the opposite end of the spectrum.  The rude, obnoxious drivers who inspire road rage in the best of us.

We all know Britain has narrow roads, at least, much narrower than in the US.  I cannot compare it to any other European countries.  We understand that in order to get around as safely and effectively as possible, we all need to give and take, respect other drivers, and share the road.  For the most part, it works.  But, all too frequently, we run into a road hogger.  Yes, you know the ones I mean.  The ones who think they own the road and that everyone needs to bow to their needs.  They’re willing to risk crashing into you, though they drive like speed demons that they manage to get out of your way in that last split second.

Yesterday, we drove through a small town with said narrow road.  The street was made even narrower by cars parked on the right hand side.  Sometimes, we find that even with parked cars, there is sufficient room for two cars to move through, as long as you’re careful.  I say this because there have been times when people have not been careful and being too cautious, they give too much room to the parked cars and force us to scratch our wheels on the opposite kerb.  But, yesterday’s experience was beyond belief.

We were driving down the road with the parked cars on our right.  The street was too narrow for another vehicle to pass through (unless it was an obnoxious motorcycle, but that’s beside the point).  Up ahead, we see a lorry truck coming on.  But, instead of waiting behind the parked cars until we get through (which is the rule under the Highway Code) because we had right of way, he decides to come head-on against us.  Of course, we were forced to stop, and he knew it.  Our only other choice was to climb the pavement, but we wouldn’t have gotten very far, because there was a bus shelter where the truck stopped.  He refused to budge and we had to back up 200 ft. for his convenience.  After backing up a little way, there was sufficient room on the right between parked cars for the truck to move into, but he refused to move until we had backed completely up the road.  As we were backing up and he was standing there, several other cars moved behind him.  What were THEY thinking?  Of course, they couldn’t see us, but when the road is that narrow and you see a vehicle stopped in front on the opposite side, wouldn’t you pull off to your side to let things resolve themselves?  After all, you’re driving in contraflow traffic.

It would have been brilliantly clever if we could have somehow made our car break down at that particular moment.  What sweet revenge.  He would have been cursing high and low and we would have had to make all of them back up (which was a shorter distance than what we did). But, alas, cars have a mind of their own.  That truck driver was lucky we weren’t the type of people who would have given in to road rage to commit GBH.  Our rage merely consists of declaring how stupid some people can be.

With our recent car troubles, I’d like to thank all those marvelously decent British motorists and passers-by who asked if we needed help.  Not that there was much anyone could do, especially those out walking their dogs, but we do appreciate the kindness and thought that came with the questions.  And special thanks to the gentleman who came out of his house (in front of which we had parked once) and offered his tools.  Sorry, we didn’t catch your name.  Not only did you help us on our way, you provided some temporary entertainment.

When our car breaks down, I like to turn away and pretend everything’s OK.  I’d stare out at the grass, or whatever, to take my mind off the problem.  I have to say that I have been pleasantly surprised by the number of cars that stopped to make sure we were OK and the walkers who asked if we needed help.  In the US, you’d have to wait for a cop, making his rounds, to stop and help.  Sometimes, truck drivers will stop or call for help for you.

Of course, things are different in the US.  You never know who might stop and hurt you.  You never know if you might get hurt trying to help.  So, it usually does fall to the policeman’s lot to check on you.  And, over there, you have cops and troopers driving around everywhere.  You don’t see a lot of cops on the roads here, unless they are responding to a call.  (Oh, yes, in Florida once, we had a ranger stop and help us out, just minutes after we had hung up with the AAA.  At first, we thought it was the AAA, but then we realised it wasn’t.  They have rangers patrolling the highways down there and they offer basic motorist services.  He gave us some gas and sent us on our way to the next service station.  If we had known we wouldn’t have had to call the AAA.)

We are members of the RAC, but it would not have been worth the call unless we needed them to tow us.  They have been helpful when we’ve called, and they are much better than the US AAA.  For now, we are just holding on until our parts come in.

The part for the car hasn’t come in yet.  We were told that it might take two weeks because it’s on back-order.  The mechanic decided to do a repair on the pipe.  He was surprised that the duct tape had stayed on.  Anyhow, the day after the repair, the car started acting up again.  In fact, it got worse.  The repair made the pipe worse and it tore it up even more.  The car kept overheating.

In addition to frequent topping up of water, my husband had to finally resort to cutting the pipe and taking out the bit of metal that was used in the repair.  We went back to duct tape.  We still have to frequently stop and top up with water, but there are no further tears to the pipe.  We need to last out this week at least.  Luckily, the kids have half-term next week and we are expecting the part to show up by them.  I certainly hope so, because our older daughter has a gymnastics competition in a town much further away at the end of the month.

We’ve seen lots of ducklings and goslings recently.  Must be their time to hatch.  Of course, we also see lots of pheasants, some as road kill.  But it’s been a while since we’ve seen a baby pheasant.  I wonder when they breed and hatch.  I also wonder what they’re called?  My older daughter insists it’s “pheaslings” and whether or not we will ever find out its real name, that’s what she will call them.  She even insisted that some ducklings were pheaslings.  And she does have her glasses on.

You don’t think about animal names when you are not exposed to them regularly.  Do baby pheasants have a special name?  What about baby badgers and hedgehogs?  Is it possible that there are some obscure names for them that we are not aware of?

Believe me, I have worse obsessions than this, but words are interesting.  Our language is constantly evolving and words are added everyday.  So, if there is not a word for baby pheasant, then we’ll have to use “pheasling”.

Don’t you just love it when your car breaks down?  It’s happened so often in the last few days that I’m ready to get a new one.  Only one problem.  We can’t afford to.  It our only car and if we don’t have it, we can’t get anywhere.  The problem with living in remote areas of the villages, you need a car.

My husband thinks he’s diagnosed the problem.  We have a crack in the pipe between the coolant and the engine.  At least, that the glaringly obvious diagnosis.  Whatever else is wrong remains to be resolved after this issue is.  Unfortunately, we can’t get the part for him to fix it himself.  However, our local mechanic thinks he’ll get it in by tomorrow.  Thank God for trustworthy local mechanics.

In the meantime, the mechanic has wrapped the crack in duct tape.  We Americans fix everything with duct tape, so we couldn’t laugh at his methods.  We’re also carrying extra gallons of water in the car.  It’d be so easy if we didn’t have to drive everywhere.  I guess I should be glad we’re expecting rain.

How can you cut down on your costs of moving?  These are some lessons we’ve learned.

1.  Don’t move.  That’s simple enough and several times during the moving process, we did think about calling the whole thing off.

2.  Sell off everything and just take your clothes and whatever can fit in your suitcases. 

3.  DIY.  No, I don’t mean carry your entire shipment onto the plane (that would be terribly expensive) or ship.  You can only do this if you own your own plane or ship.  But, you can pack your own belongings.  This can be tricky, as you’ll read further.  But, it will definitely save you some money and a headache.  We had used a moving company once for an interstate move.  We did most of the packing, but they arrived early and ended up “helping” to pack.  What they did was open up some boxes and threw whatever they could find into it.  This is called “professional” packing services.  Therefore, for the international move, we used our “amateur” packing techniques, which included bubble wrapping and cushioning using our own clothes.  But, at least, we knew where everything was.  We labelled the outside of the box and made a list, numbering each box and giving a little more detail of its contents.  Using the company’s services meant you had to pay for the labour and supplies.  The cost varies from company to company.  The downside to DIY is that you are responsible for the contents.  The movers will still make their own list and the boxes need to state their contents.  Some movers require that you leave the boxes opened so they can inspect them.  Some companies, such as IntlMove, will not provide insurance cover for damages if you do any part of the packing yourself.  So, either allow them to damage your goods and you can claim for them later (if they’ll even acknowledge your complaint) or pack it yourself.  Some will allow you to deliver the goods to the docks, if you live nearby.  You do have to check with the companies.

4. Insurance?  As I stated, if you pack your own goods, some will only cover for total loss, not damage.  That means if they lose your shipment, you can claim against them.  We figured, unless the ship sinks, we should receive our goods, damaged or not, so we waived the insurance.  We found out later that everyone recommends you take the insurance.  I don’t see how that could have helped us.  I doubt they could adequately compensate for the loss.  After all, most of our goods had sentimental value, rather than monetary value.

5. Don’t go with the cheapest.  As we’ve learned, IntlMove gave one of the cheapest quotes, but in the end, we paid for a lot of “extras”.  We were lucky, however, since we actually received our shipment.  Others were not so fortunate.  I hope they took out insurance.

My first advice for anyone planning an overseas move is to make preparations well ahead of time, by months.  This will enable you to find a good moving company.  Because you really need to research several different companies before deciding which is the right one for you.  There are some good ones and some really awful ones out there.  Some of them are real scam companies, preying on vulnerable customers.  After all, you are in a very vulnerable position.

Word-of-mouth reputation is better than anything that the company can say for itself.  But, you do have to be careful because some companies may print up false or paid testimonials.  If they are members of certain professional organisations, you should try and discover if any complaints had been filed against them and what the final resolution, if any, was.  There are certain memberships and licenses that they must hold and you should check to make sure they do hold these.  The internet is a very useful tool, so get on it and find out if anyone has complained via the internet.  There are forums, such as MovingScam.com and others, where members can discuss issues involving moving and moving companies.

I have since discovered that it is best if the company does a visual inspection of the goods before giving you a quote.  However, it is not always a guarantee that services rendered will be the best.  I will say that IntlMove did not do a visual inspection.  They contract with various companies to do the work for them, therefore, they cannot send a representative out to give a quote, because it might not be the same one to load up.  What they do is provide a computer calculator to estimate your weight and volume and they quote from that.  The problem with their calculator is that it is not accurate and does not account for real-life items.  In addition, IntlMove only quote for volume, not weight.  Yet, if you exceed the weight limit, you pay extra.  Next time, I would find a company that provides a quote for both.  Bear in mind that for international moves, you will probably be given non-binding quotes.  That means, that if you exceed weight or volume, you pay the extras.  If anyone knows of an international mover that provides binding quotes, I’d really like to hear from them.

Find out what’s included in the quote.  Usually, it includes all fees at the point of origin.  We were told up front that all destination charges were extra – that included port fees, customs, etc.  What we were not told was that fuel charges for the ship were not included – we do not know if we paid a portion of the charges (because I’m sure the ship carried more than one shipment) or the entire fuel charge.  I don’t know if you could possibly ask for a receipt of actual fuel charges.  What we were also asked to pay from the destination agent was x-ray fees.  Because different ports have different policies regarding x-rays or manual examination, I would check with the ports before paying these.

Find out the whole process of payment.  We were very uneasy with the way IntlMove did it, but since we were pressed for time by that point, we had no choice.  They liked to do everything by email.  They sent you a form, an agreement to sign.  You had to fax or email a copy of your deposit as well as signing an authorisation form for them to cut a draft from your bank to pay for the move.  Then you had to mail them your check.  This is in addition to providing a copy of your passport and other personal information.  I refused to provide them with my social security number because they were getting too much information that I thought was unnecessary.  After they receive your deposit, they ask for the remaining balance before they will call the pick-up agent.  They stipulate that the pick-up agent cannot pick up the shipment until they have your check for several days.  Yet, then they explain that you and the pick-up agent can negotiate the pick-up date.  If you get confused, don’t worry.  I don’t think they mean for you to understand.

The pick-up agent takes it to their warehouse and weighs it.  Supposedly, moving companies need to inform you of when and where the shipment will be weighed and give you the option of being present.  Also, the scales used need to be certified.  IntlMove does not do this, and I have been told this only applies to interstate moves, not international moves.  If anyone knows differently, let me know.  I find it unfair that you cannot witness the weighing because it gives them the freedom to make up a weight and get extra money out of you.  A second weighing takes place just before the shipment gets loaded onto the ship.  If it is less, they will not inform you (because that means a refund).  But, if it is more, you will have to pay another fee.  Now, IntlMove did tell us that after we made our payment, we may receive either one or two more bills.   The first will be after the first weighing, the second after the second weighing. We got both, of course, though the second bill only contained fuel charges and charges for the supposed additional packing done by the pick-up agent.  As I said in the other post, they did not put on any additional packaging (and they defaced legal documents to say that they did).

Now, if you don’t pay the fees like IntlMove want you to, they send you threatening emails saying they will hold your shipment hostage until you pay the ransom.  (Never mind that you paid for 30-days warehouse storage in case you needed it.)  This is ILLEGAL!  If any company ever does that, warning bells should start ringing and you should start making plans to report them.  However, since your belongings are in their hands, you will have to pay the ransom and deal with this after you receive your shipment.

I should mention that once you agree to use IntlMove, the person you talked to no longer is involved.  You have to deal with Administration, Accounts, and Operations.  And, those three don’t always work together, even though my husband suspects it’s all one and the same person.

In future posts, I will address insurance, packing, etc.