An American in Britain

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Britain is renowned for its beautiful countryside and quaint villages. We love to explore the various surrounding small towns and villages. As we are driving down a highway, a sign pointing to an unexplored town will tempt us to turn off the main road to discover a hidden part of this wonderful island. However, the driving can be quite exhausting, most especially for the driver.

I do not refer to the fact that we are getting tired of exploring. Oh, no, not that. It is simply that when we turn off the highway, the sign will tell us that the village is 3 miles down the road. After winding around for a few miles, we think we have lost our way, when another sign announces that we are heading in the correct direction and the village is now only 2 miles away. After going through some more winding streets, we come to a turn. If you go right, the village is another 2 miles. Two miles?!! Yes, that’s right. Another two miles.

It’s part of the British sense of humour, you see. Miles stated on signs are “as the crow flies” on a good day, but the actual route taken is that of a drunken crow trying to make it to its destination without a crash landing. Unlike the US, you cannot get from point A to point B with a straight line. You must twist and turn until you are completely exhausted from holding on to the steering wheel. As a passenger, you are thrown back and forth against your door as you anxiously anticipate seeing your quaint little village, only to find that it keeps getting further and further away. It is like going through a huge maze just to get to your destination. The British roads are so unique that I think they need to come up with their own distinct definition for the British Mile.